Mom of two Mischievous Monkeys: Zen thoughts for those who take life too seriously

Friday, February 1, 2013

Zen thoughts for those who take life too seriously


 I came across this list that a co-worker gave me as I was cleaning up my desk at work the other day. Hope this gives you a good chuckle and be sure to enjoy your weekend!

Image courtesy of digitalart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

*Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
* A day without sunshine is like, night.
* On the other hand, you have different fingers.
* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
* 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
* I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
* Honk if you love peace and quiet.
* Remember, half the people you know are below average.
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
* Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
* How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
* If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
* If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
* I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
* I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
* Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
*The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
*Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
*Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
*If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
*Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
*What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
*I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
*Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?




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5 comments :

  1. Okay, that's too funny...
    My fav is The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese !

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  2. Love these!! This one is my favorite; He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    It's so ME!

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  3. hahah, sharing the parallel parked one!

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  4. Just what I needed to read tonight, Tara. I take life wa-a-a-ayyy too seriously. New follower.

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  5. I laughed out loud when I read "I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder".There's nothing like a good laugh.My youngest son is an all terrain's vehicle mechanic in the army.He's going to love that when I pass it on.Thanks

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